sry for the vulgar post... i was just super pissed... yes... i said the f-word... i noe i said the f-word.. dun need to tell me again n again.. dun need to have such a big reaction also... i guess everybody will say the f-word at least once in their life?=S lolz.
anywayz.. I AM NOT EMO! ok.. maybe sometimes... -.-... it is just that problems keep coming... and i am sick of life... i find life so meaningless... and stressful... sometimes i wonder why r we even living for... at the end of the day we all die... sometimes i seriously wish that all the problems could just go away... i am just tired... and sick of everything... haiz. i thought of just ending everything... just killing myself so that everything can just end... all the sufferings and stuff.... i just dun have the courage to do it... things are holding me back... my parents? friends? i dunno... some part of me just dun want to end it so soon.
yesterday.. my maid was super ill... she went to the hospital... even had to called the ambulance... i dun really noe what happen... cause when i went to sleep... she was weak... vomitting and stuff.. and i thought she will be fine after that.. mummy told me she sort of fainted?lolz. i have no idea. saw the guy this morning again... lolz... he looks so zombie... guess everybody dreads going to sch...
talked to zt today and yesterday... yesterday convo didn't go well.. we started shouted at each other.. sort of blaming each other... i wasn't in a good mood yesterday... with all the hw and stuff... i almost cried when talking to her.... i could tell she was crying... i ended the convo by saying sorry... and i just hung up... i guess what i said was really mean... in the morning i smsed her saying sorry and stuff.. and told her to come online at night.... but i didn't come online... i didn't noe what to say... i was just afraid that i will hurt her again... i mean... i hate her for what she has done... but i guess.. she was my bff... and i still care abt her... i dunno... i just dun want to hurt her the way she did to me... she called and we had a super long talk.. abt all the things that was happening... i wasn't pissed off today... good mood? lolz. just happy that i surived sch with just 3 hrs and 30 mins of sleep. lolz. i told her i need time to think abt all the stuff... to think abt the friendship... give me time to heal the pain... and i guess i can forgive her by then... i dunno... but dun get ur hopes too high... it is very hard to forgive and forget everything...

Confused kid....
11:13 PM