hundred posts already... wow... so fast... lolz. have been super busy! studying for common tests and stuff... haiz... BUT IT IS GOING TO BE OVER... but i am not happy at all... after cts will be training... haiz... training with mr koh... going to die lah... my stamina sucks and his training is super tiring! haiz...
have been thinking a lot these few days.... i dunno wat am i thinking abt but yeah... all the emo stuff i guess... now i am super tired... like super super tired... like life is so stress.... i just like seriously want everything to just go away... i just everything to end... but i guess that's impossible.. unless i die... but killing urself needs a lot of courage and i guess i just dun have the guts to do it... there are just things holding me back....
i feel that everything is so messed up.. everything just doesn't seem to go the way i want it too... i just can't seem to be as happy as i was last time... i can't stand it anymore.. like seriously... i seriously just want to end it here.... and be free...
i want to cry... but tears just dun want to flow out... i feel that i can't breathe properly with all the stress and stuff... i hate myself... why did i become like that! why must i change.... i hate me... i hate my life... i guess i just hate everything... i dun feel love... i just feel hate now... why must i pretend to be someone else... cause i want love? want ppl to accept me... i just can't accept the fact that i change.. i want to be who i used to be... is that ever possible.. i guess that i am just caught up with all the stuff... that life becomes so stress and boring.. that i can't enjoy life anymore... haiz....

"Just take the knife and kill me.... I can't stand the pain anymore... dying is better than all these stress.."
11:00 PM