I'm very scared now... Very very scared... Very very scared that God will take away my family's joy.. That God will take my happy home away... Now the house is very quiet... That it freaks me out... I'm alone with Timo's GF. It wasn't supposed to be like that... The whole family was suppose to be happy together.... Eating together... But now I'm sitting here in front of the com... Praying that everything is going to be alright... I never saw it coming... God is this a wake up call to me... Is this a punishment.... Are u going to end it all just like that.... I can't imagine what the future holds... Now I just pray that I'm thinking too much... How I wish that I'm dreaming... This nightmare... My Dad's face... Something that keeps replaying in my mind... Something that tells me all this is not good.. Something that tells me my life is going to change... I don't feel like doing anything now... I don't feel like talking... I don't feel like doing work... All I want is for all this to be a nightmare... Why must this happen to me... WHY! Why did I not talk to my dad more.... Why did I just... Ignored him... Why did I have such strong feelings against him... When I saw my dad's face... I thought I lost him... After he started talking... I thought everything was going to be ok... But I was wrong... Now I'm sitting here in the empty and quiet house... Praying that everything is going to be ok... Praying that God won't take my dad away....
9:10 PM