Heyz ppl. I suppose to be either sleeping or studying I guess. But I'm alone now... So I don't really feel like doing either one of them. Yeah. Theo is in army, parents and Timoz went to temple to pray.. Yeah. I don't know why at 12 plus...Lolz.

I guess now I'm already starting to emo.. Cause tmr will be the day Timoz is leaving. Today Theo left for army again... I didn't send him off... Cause I had to study... And mummy asked me to stay home and study... And the family went out to have dinner... I guess I did feel a bit.. Like... I'm not part of the family... But I guess mummy just felt it is not a great deal... Cause Theo is coming back next week. Yeah. I guess.. But that was the last chance that we could have dinner together as a family... Now... We have to wait for another 6 months... Haiz.

Tmr night will be the beginning of my loneliness... And I hate it... like seriously. I really didn't see this coming... And I have to tackle Sec 3 and 4 on my own... That sucks la... Without my bros... haiz. Sometimes I seriously wish that Timoz really didn't have to go overseas... Cause I seriously hate sending him off at the airport... In july I already cried like shit... Then now I got a feeling it will be even worse... Cause so many things happen these few months... And he was always there for me... There to give me a hug... There to just help me destress... Even though I always complain that he is always disturbing me... But that really did cheer me up when I was studying... And it makes me less sianz. The time I spent with him in these few months... Was amazing... I don't know why.. But I just had a lot of fun... Especially the last few weeks? Cause Theo went to army... And he just became so sianz... Not fun anymore... Me and Timoz were like disturbing each other... And yeah... I just enjoyed his company... It would be better if Theo wasn't so sianz though...

Yeah... I don't want tmr to come.. Seriously don't want it to come... haiz... I hate this... My teddy bear will be gone... Nobody to hug... Nobody to disturb me... I will be so alone... haiz.

Something else that I just realised... Is that I don't really understand Theo... Like I used to think we were very close... Until now... Maybe cause of him being very sianz and stuff... But I realised he doesn't tell me anything... That I don't really know him... That he may not enjoy my company... I don't know... It is like suddenly I feel that I'm very close to Timoz and that I'm drifting apart from Theo... I don't know... It is like now I understand Timoz more than him... And I enjoying Timoz company more than him... I don't know... I hate it... I don't want us to drift apart... But what can I do if u build a wall in between us... What can I do if u seem that u don't even want my company... haiz.. Sometimes I even try to "keep a distance" from timoz... Cause I feel that Theo may feel left out... But every time I talk to him... He just seem to get annoyed and just dao me... I don't noe what to do... I don't noe what to say... I don't want anybody to feel left out... But he seems that he like it this way... Haiz... Maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Maybe I will blog tmr... Maybe I'll not... Depends on my mood I guess... If I emo on tues... Pls understand... I guess I just won't feel like talking on tues.. So yeah...
12:31 AM