Yupz. Back to what I was talking abt... So yeah. Just now I was looking through my emails... And yeah... Until last year's emails... So I want to say Thanks to Val! Car! Baby! Grace Grace! Piggy! Sher! For sending me emails... And some are really like a super duper long essay! lol lol! Thanks for those who always ask me not to emo... Those who I write letters to... Those who I complain to... And everyone who was there to help me and comfort me! ❤

Yupz. Last year to me was hell... Even though I ❤ my class... Teachers.. It was hell on earth for me...Worst year out of my life... Yeah. So I have been keeping the secret for already one whole year... And I think only those who sent me emails noe abt this. Or maybe some of u are smart enough to guess or even saw. I cut myself last year... To me it was a way of... Running away from the whole shit pain I was feeling inside of me. The pain I got from cutting... Temporary distracts me from the real pain. U can say that I hated myself so mucchhh... That I was hurting myself. Read the old blog posts... If I remember correctly... A lot mentioned abt suicide... Abt leaving this world... Abt not being able to feel the pain anymore... To just run away forever. Yeah... A lot of things happened last year... That I just couldn't take it. I really really really tried to suicide... Like just standing at Kent Ridge Hill... Looking down... Thinking of just ending my life.... So yeah.

Coming back to now... I'm kinda of over the whole emo-ing period already. Like now... I have stopped cutting... And hurting myself... Earlier this year... I was still thinking of suicide... But yeah... not as much... And now... Not really thinking anymore... Yupz. For those who are thinking of cutting or suicide... It's not worth it.. I have been through... Cutting is a just a stupid way that only temporary distracts u... And in the end... U still have to face all the shit. Suicide... Think whether it is worth it or not... There are actually a lot of things in our life... Waiting for us to discover... To realised that they are there... A lot of things that are worth living for. Yupz.

So now.. My scars still actually hurt... Idk how many times I tried cutting... Like sometimes it is not deep so it doesn't leave scars... But now.. There are 6 obvious one... Yeah. So now they serve as a reminder to me... Not to go back to who I used to be... Cause it is not worth it...

But actually I'm glad I experience that whole emo shit... Cause.. Now i appreciate life more? I experienced real friendship... I meet ppl who really care for me... And yeah. Come to realised that life is greater than I think... Just sometimes we have to just look at things differently. Yupz. I got to stop here now.. Cause it's getting kinda of late.. And yupz. So thanks those who help me get through last year... Even though... I didn't really tell most of u my probs.. But thanks for just asking me not to emo... Sorry to say.. Last year... Everything u guys said... I really didn't bother... Even the emails... Cause like everybody says the same thing.. Like everything is going to be fine... But u noe it isn't going to be fine... But still those who are facing shit... Talking to ppl really do help... And u don't have to listen to what they have to say... But getting it out of ur system really do helps... So yeah. JIAYOU! But now the emails mean a lot to me... And all the convos i saved... They really really mean a lot to me. When now whenever I'm sad... I read them.. And they really do make me happy. So yupz. Keep the letters from ur frens! =D

Yupz... That's really long... hahha! ❤